It Hurts to Be This Sexy
	2004-11-08 | 12:22 a.m. break
	So tonight The Missed Connection sort of broke things off with me. Yes, it was abrupt. And I am sad about it. But I just talked with a good friend and am feeling remarkably ok about the whole thing. If you want the explanation(s): Things were going too well, and were getting too serious too quickly. The going well, yet slightly too quickly serious things were proving to be a massive distraction from schoolwork. Call it "overwhelming." This is apropos. This will sound like bragging, but it's not. I handled things beautifully. I clarified what she was telling me, assuaged my own fears (the illogical ones that have a tendency to fuck you over once you've left the scene), and let her know that my concern for her mental health was more important to me than my very selfish wants (which would only end in her resenting me, anyway). This was the point at which she asked, "How did you get to be so clear about things?". And apparently it's just that I'm a good communicator? Or that I've watched so many people fuck up so many things that I know how to do it right. I've given the advice before--that you need to be honest and direct and respectful--and I took it. The hard part was kissing her goodbye, having her look at me and pull me in and put her head on my belly while we hugged each other. And not crying while she did that. It was also pretty difficult to think that our mornings in the park, holding hands and drinking coffee, are over. I really liked those mornings. I really like her. So I'm sad right now, but not freaking out. I'm not feeling like I did with Shmohawk (which was pretty wretched, if you want to know the truth). I also think that there's a part of me that's holding out hope for a comeback tour. This is probably the unhealthiest part of my thoughts at the moment (I mean really, one should never lay hopes on a comeback), but I think it's ok to have unhealthy bits right now. In spite of my resilience, I would greatly appreciate lots of very supportive/loving comments. I'll even venture to say that I need them, just a little. Thanks in advance, kids. PS: I finished her copy of "A Lover's Discourse" on the way to her house tonight. You can probably file this under IRONIC if you want to. That's what I'm doing. **Heartbeat City** The weather that ROARED - 2005-03-01 Enabler's Rag - 2005-02-15 Where in the world? - 2005-01-14 Where have all the rude boys gone? - 2005-01-04 quickly - 2004-11-21 <-- - -->	Last Next Newest Older Rings Pictures Links Profile Guestbook Email me Notes Diaryland Hate is Great

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