It Hurts to Be This Sexy
	2004-10-24 | 2:50 a.m. It's like that JT song, you know?
	OK, so %%diary-bevin%% gives me a week and a half before I'm 100% girlfriendy with The Missed Connection. To which I say: eek! maybe? ooh! umm... I follow it up with another eek, just for good measure. Because I'm freaked out by the fact that we're liking each other. And I don't know what it would actually mean to have that liking-ness extend into girlfriend territory. Does it change things? I don't think it has to, but then what's the point of re-naming something if there isn't a shift in what it is or does? Polyamory isn't an issue at the moment, because we're totally on the same page about making out with other people. Which is all well and good except that, yeah, I don't necessarily make out with people that often. I know, it's a shocker. But it's true. I get very little play considering what a fun-loving, gregarious slut I am. So I worry that if we were girlfriends, I'd sort of fall into the easy comfort of not ever taking opportunities to physically connect with other people. But maybe that's ok with me? And really I only want to connect physically with other people in an SM context? My play doesn't really involve fucking, so I can see playing and making out as two totally separate animals. But yeah. I'm worrying about this stuff before it ever even happens, which is just what I do. I'm also thinking about mentioning my dating to my Fambly, though I don't want to do it in some sort of manufactured I AM GAY kind of way. It's funny because I know they won't freak out, but I don't know how they'll react--I'm picturing some kind of intense supportive gesture like joining PFLAG or sending me a card that tells me how much they love me. PS: What I plan on really not mentioning to my parents is that I don't want to get "married" or have babies. This would break their sweet little hearts. They don't need to know that I desire to live the rest of my life in Hot and Heavy SIN, fucking ladies and getting beat up in public. Even though I just proclaimed it on the internet, should they ever figure out some fun and crafty searches via google. Hm. Alas. I probably shouldn't think too seriously about all of this. I have a Taurean tendency to desire The Steady Homelife so much that I grasp at anything stable looking that floats my way and turn it into permutations of possible futures. It's actually sort of funny seeing these weird scenarios (that I don't necessarily want) playing out in my head. Weird. **Wanted Needed** The weather that ROARED - 2005-03-01 Enabler's Rag - 2005-02-15 Where in the world? - 2005-01-14 Where have all the rude boys gone? - 2005-01-04 quickly - 2004-11-21 <-- - -->	Last Next Newest Older Rings Pictures Links Profile Guestbook Email me Notes Diaryland Hate is Great

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