It Hurts to Be This Sexy
	2004-10-02 | 6:11 p.m. Bitches in the City
	Apparently it has been almost a month since I've updated. This is because I'm having a hot and tempestuous love affair with livejournal. However, I still consider this my primary journal, my homebase of sorts. So there's that, right? Sure. My life has been a bit of a whirlygig lately. Brooklyn is still beautiful, and my roommates are divine. I am still jobless, though feeling much less depressed about the lack of distinct income, as I've found other ways to make money (that don't involve selling my body for sex or science). The real spot of interest is my newly blossoming love life, so I shall fill in details there. Shmohawk has (surprise surprise) been neglecting me yet again. She started out slowly, but has worked all the way up to last year's levels of not talking with me or emailing me (and just generally pretending like I don't exist). It doesn't shock me so much as it angers me. I wanted things to be different, and I thought that was enough. We haven't severed all ties, but I don't see the point in talking with her right now. She's told me that she isn't really talking with anyone and that I shouldn't "take it to heart" but what. the fuck. ever. I have a feeling that in a few months, she'll come back again (after having effectively shoved all other people out of her life) and want to reconnect with me, but I doubt I'll be able to handle it. I've basically realized that she is not even attempting to fulfill even my most basic friendship needs. BLAH. As Leather Boy said to me recently: You have to clear out the space this relationship takes up before anything can start to take its place. That being said, bring on the hot prospects. First off, I met a really excellent Top a few weeks ago at a caning workshop. He was kind and sensitive and rough and safe. He actually took care of me before, during, and after our scene, and we had excellent chemistry with one another. We are certainly thinking of playing again. At first I was comparing the Top with Shmohawk--their differences are really huge, though both of them are definitely into pushing limits/edge play. The main thing is that the Top has a really amazing background in the leather community (he helps run a local chapter of a major SM organization, and started the queer workshops they do), while Shmohawk has only ever played in relationships. There's a level of accountability that one can really only get from playing in the scene, I think, and Shmohawk doesn't have it. And I need it right now. Plus the Top is here and in contact with me and hot and amazing and. AND. We are into pretty much all the same things. Compatible energy + compatible play styles + compatible play activities = Match Made in Dundgeon Heaven! And then there's a squishy crush cuddle interest. Goody! She went to the SL, but we didn't really meet there. We started talking at dragster parties, and I found myself getting more and more crushed out on her all the time. A couple of weeks ago, we spent most of a friend's party talking and being silly, and I realized that I was most definitely crushed on her. So I posted on Craigslist NY Missed Connections. She didn't respond, but I wasn't sure if she had seen it, so I sent her a friendster message. She had seen the Missed Connection post, but had been too nervous to respond. But the friendster message helped her along, and--after a week or so of mutual busy-ness--we ended up having a date last night. She came over to my house for dinner and a movie, and we ended up talking 4-F-R. It was most excellent. During the movie, we held hands on the couch. If you were to speak with me about this life and in person (or just on the phone) you'd notice my massive giggles. As I told a friend earlier, I find it really funny that I have the same/similar excitement for SM as I have for holding hands. But really, the exuberance is there regardless. I sent her another friendster message last night saying that I had a really great time, and she responded by inviting me on a date to her neighborhood (to look at Emma Goldman's old building, and have some dinner). I sent a very affirmative response. She is cute cute cute. Oh Missed Connection. Cute Cute Cute. So happiness abounds, at the moment. OH! I'm even playing the uke (with Drag Crush) in the next drag show we have. My emoboy character is having his debut. Postal Service will be played/sung. We are fishes in the sea of hotness, no? **Swim-a-dim-dim** The weather that ROARED - 2005-03-01 Enabler's Rag - 2005-02-15 Where in the world? - 2005-01-14 Where have all the rude boys gone? - 2005-01-04 quickly - 2004-11-21 <-- - -->	Last Next Newest Older Rings Pictures Links Profile Guestbook Email me Notes Diaryland Hate is Great

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